When Panic Hits

About 2 years ago I was getting ready for Camp Squanto. I remembered camp as being really fun, but during COVID, I hadn't been away from my family at all.  I was really excited to go.
The first night, I always have a hard time. So when I cried and was upset that first night 2 years ago, I didn't think too much of it.
But it didn't get better. The showers scared me and I couldn't bring myself to use them. I was embarrassed, but I couldn't stop the fear and I couldn't control it. I missed my mom and I started panicking.
I called mom. She told me that it would get better and that she would get me Wednesday if I still wanted to go home. I couldn't breathe, my chest felt really tight, I was crying uncontrollably, and my throat hurt. I wanted to go home right away. I don't even remember what I was saying, but I was desperate to leave and I screamed and screamed. Mom was trying to get me to calm down, but I couldn't.
The next day I did the same thing. Mom said that she couldn't pick me up, but Dad could. I didn't care as long as I got home. The whole day, I couldn't stop thinking about what would happen if Mom or Dad didn't show up. When Dad showed up, I didn't want to let go; I hugged him so tight. Things started to be better when I got home, saw my mom, and was able to be with Clover to calm down.
If I am away for a very short time, I am upset, but I can hide it. If it is a longer trip, my outbursts are hard to control and more violent.
At the time, I thought I was just sensitive. When I was diagnosed with Autism, ADHD, and anxiety and started reading about them, my reactions to things and my behaviors started making sense.
Medicine has helped with my anxiety and ADHD, but it doesn't completely get rid of it. There is no medication for Autism. It is part of who I am. The problem is that when I get super anxious, like when I was at camp, nothing helps. It doesn't matter who is there or where I am, the screaming, hyperventilating, and, sometimes, running will happen. I hit a point where I feel out of control. A service dog will recognize when I am getting to that point and will apply deep pressure therapy to calm me down before the attack begins. This will help me regulate my reactions and use other helpful strategies to calm me down.

I am so grateful to have the opportunity to get a service dog! We have raised a good amount, but still have $20,000 to go! Will you help me reach that goal??

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Image
  Emma has always responded well to animals.  She loves the soft warmth of their fur and the steadying feel of a dog lying next to her as she sleeps.  She has also discovered that pressure and weight helps her to feel grounded and much calmer when she is in the midst of a panic attack.  With a service dog, this will be support that she has access to every day!  We can't wait to see what God has in store for her with this dog. However, this will not happen without you! Please consider helping us reach our goal of $24,500.  Even the smallest amount will help!   www.ecad1.org/emma_smith
Read more

Other Ways to Give

Image
  SNEAKER DRIVE Have any old sneakers around the house?  We will take them!  We are working with www.gotsneakers.com  and will take any sneakers, in any condition.  You get to clean out your closet, we receive donations for ECAD in support of Emma, and everybody wins! If you live locally (CT), I will come to you to collect them. BOTTLE AND CAN DRIVE We will also be collecting bottles and cans on an ongoing basis. If you live locally, I will come and pick them up!   www.ecad1.org/emma_smith
Read more
Image
  This is our Emma: beautiful, thoughtful, generous, musical, artistic, and smart.  We have always known that she is special.  We have also always known that she faces some unique challenges: panic attacks, social anxiety, and fear of some public places, to name a few.  A little over a year ago, we discovered that these challenges were due to Autism, ADHD, and Anxiety.   We have been so blessed by you, our family and friends, who have listened, supported, and walked beside us through all of the 'figuring out' - through all of the successes and all of the struggles. Through God's grace, we have been given the amazing opportunity to give Emma much needed support by obtaining a service dog with ECAD (Educated Canines Assisting with Disabilities) in Torrington, CT.  This would be life changing for her. Currently, walking into public restrooms overwhelm and induce panic attacks.  Overnights without myself present result in crippling anxiety.  Walk...
Read more